The Ancient Chant “OWHA”

by Jake Block

When I read some of the superstitious, fear-based drivel on the web, I am not surprised at the state of the nation and the world, because if people will fall for the kind of mindless logic that tells them that gods and spirits rule their lives, then how hard is it to believe that they will hand over their liberty and self determination to a leader who is incompetent, but fuels their fears that the other… the outsider… those not like them are somehow at the root of all of their troubles. From there, it’s a short, slippery step to entrusting that leader with despotic and dictatorial powers to save them from the menace at hand.

The gullibility of a large number of people on the web is sometime humorous, but mostly disheartening for those of us who would like to think that now, in the 21st Century, people might be a bit more enlightened and forward thinking, and not so ready to swallow some of the “spiritual gobbledegoop” that passes for wisdom on the web. I take heart though, in the knowledge that there will always be that sub-class of humans that will, through their gullibility and trepidations make them manipulable to the superior Will. Still, they can also be a nuisance with their never ending questions about what god, goddess, angel, devil or demon they should beg for assistance to gain their heart’s desire… and there is ALWAYS something their heart desires.

I tried for many years to explain to these “askholes” that most of the things that we desire in life are easiest to get with personal effort and drive, gaining the knowledge that we need to affect our financial situations, or in the case of their never ending quest for “love,” simply in making ourselves better and more attractive people to the opposite sex. The fact is, young ones, that most problems in life can be taken care of by resorting to personal interventions, rather than begging to that “hairy thunderer or cosmic muffin” in the sky. Often times, many “personal problems” wane if we simply let go of them, and stop poking at them with the sharp stick of our anxiety.

Still, there are those for whom simple logic and personal efforts will never be the answer, for they know that only the gods could vex their lives so, and only some other god can assuage their misery and that feeling of impending doom. “Please, Jake,” they would implore of me, “surely you know of some chant, some prayer or some sacrifice I can use to affect change! It’s a lot of effort to do things on my own, and it takes so much time to get the things I really want that way. You have the things I want. You seem to be happy and content with your life. What “magic” did you use?”

They don’t want to have to endure the callouses on their hands and on their minds that come as a result of hard labors. Nor do they want to have to learn new things, read more, take more chances or pay one’s dues. They don’t want it when there is snow on their roof, but while there’s still a raging fire in their heart. They won’t understand that snow on the roof is a sign that you’ve worked hard and built your house well. When your house IS built well and insulated against the elements that stand against it, you can live comfortably without sacrificing so much energy to keep that fire going. Life is more comfortable in the warm glow of contentment with the things you have attained.

The late, great Canadian legend Leonard Cohen wrote, “They say that there’s a secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord,” in his epic song Hallelujah. They hear the words, “It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth, the minor fall, the major lift,” and assume that he’s not singing in allegory, but passing on the secrets of life in song. Secrets there are, but Cohen is speaking of the work of living, seeing where one has failed, repenting of the errors in his ways and working to change. And when one has made those changes… “Hallelujah.” “The minor fall” means the error of your ways, and “the major lift” refers to the elation of realizing you can do better. Cohen even displays this feeling in the chord progression of the song… “F, G, Am, F.”

They won’t listen to the litany of sacrifices that someone in their “golden years” has made to become “comfortable” and “successful” in their lives. No, they want to be on their knees, in some magic circle, or scouring the tomes of the ancients for some scrap of wisdom that will grant them their heart’s desire. Well, never press a man with a perverse sense of humor to provide you, for free, the life experience that he has found worked for him, when you really have no intention of trying them yourself. You’re more interested in the chants and the prayers. Ok. Here’s your chant, provided to me by a “god of a man,” many years ago. Follow these instructions and you will be enlightened.

The Ancient Siamese OWHA chant. You must initially speak the words of the three phrases slowly and then, faster and faster until your mind will indeed find its revelation! The three phrases are:


Chant on. Chant on.

The Orders of The Sect of the Horned God

The Order of Pan
The Order of Cernunnos
The Order of Prometheus
The Order of Dionysis
The Order of Shiva