SATAN THEISTS: THE BLACK SHEEP OF THE RIGHT HAND PATH!

By Thomas LeRoy, Founder of the Sect of the Horned God

Question A: Are Modern Satanists just atheistic posers who like creepy shit?
Answer A: No.
Question B: Are Satan Theists nothing more than the black sheep of the right-hand path?
Answer A: Yes.
The Modern Satanist is an individual that understands that ritual and spell-casting are cathartic activities, and all mythological personnages are metaphorical. What these beings symbolize speaks to the subconscience, which is a larger part of the mind than the conscience. On the other hand the theist, be it Christian or Satanic, accepts the literal existence of their gods. They “believe” that these entities reside in some supernatural realm and that their personal deities are their masters. Here is one of the major problems with the Satan theist. A true person on the left-hand path bows down to no one. He is antinomian, an iconoclast and the supreme indidvidualist. By willingly calling anyone, be it real or imagined, “Master” makes one part of the flock. A sheep. Like the Christian, the Satan theist joyfully follows the “clank” of the bellwether’s bell, hopefully to salvation, but more often than not to the slaughter (metaphorically speaking. . . most of the time).
But what I really wonder is how many of them, the faithful, actually believe in Satan? I think very few. Many have listened to too much Death/Black Metal and are now on a rebellious kick to spite their Christian parents. But the parents need not worry, because most will have their fat asses back in the pews, begging the “Good Lord” to forgive them for going astray. Yet, some of them really believe, and they share that same ability with their Christian kin that the Modern Satanists lacks: The ability to ignore their doubts! I have greater respect for the Christians, though. They have a 2,000 year old tradition and many of them have been indoctrinated into the faith from the time of birth. Most Satan theists, on the other hand, were not raised as such. To try to give their faith some legitimacy they claim it predates the Bible. But in reality they take bits of Summerian mythology and add in a whole lot of nonsense they make up, then call it truth! They believe their own bullshit!
Come now, you theists, you D&D geeks that can’t seem to get out of that fantasy realm. Don’t you hear that voice in the back of your head telling you that you’re being really fucking silly? Maybe in your mind that voice is nothing more than a gentle whisper, but in my head it would be a deep-voiced sonofabitch with a bullhorn!
But you may ask, “Why would an atheist call themself a Satanist? Why even bother with the label?” Because we love myth! We understand its meaning! And Satan best represents our inherent nature. Myth and mythological beings should be looked at as metaphorical guides leading one to spiritual wholeness, not as living entities! By seeing myth as history, and mythological beings as real, the meaning of these wonderous allegorical tales is lost. They become misconstrued in the psyche. The believer thinks he’s been touched by the deity, but in truth it’s just a misinterpretation of the language of myth.
I will conclude with the words of the late Joseph Campbell: “To take myth literally would be like going into a restaurant, seeing beef-steak on the menu and you begin to eat the menu.”